Have you ever been white water rafting?
I have never done it; it never really appealed to me.
Yet I find myself in the position of doing it – for the first time ever. For 16 days. Yes sixteen days living and breathing my life in the Arizona desert, navigating a total of 67 wild water rapids filled with boulders. In the August high temperatures…over 100 degrees each day. 16 days of travelling 225.5 miles or about 500 kms in the Wild! They mentioned the word…camping…yikes!
I’m just a gal from the ‘burbs! Yet life took me here (I didn’t choose it; but I did agree to it!). Yet again testing my mettle. Challenging me to look in the face all I need to see about myself.
The Challenge – It all starts on arrival at Lees Wharf. As I got off the bus and saw the rafts on the Colorado River I thought ‘I can’t do this’; actually I really can’t do this’. I thought ‘I have to tell the bus driver (lovely lady) that I can’t do this and can she take me back to Flagstaff – a 2 hour drive …
Then I looked around and saw the red red towering cliffs against the blue blue sky, and I was instantly reminded of Uluru and immediately felt this serene comfort come over me. I had been to Uluru a few months before and I felt a great similar energetic vibration between the two places. So I get on the raft. Then, and only then, do I remember (again; this happened to me once before), what the bad vibe feeling is I’m getting – I have a profound fear of the water. I am quite frankly, shellshocked. How could I forget!! I am in this now for 16 days.
I am determined on one outcome….transformation. Game on!!
We set off and all looks beautiful and the water is clear green and is calm. It’s all lovely. I try to relax. Up ahead is a bit of movement in the water. I quail and feel sick.
We have an oarsman who rows the raft (seriously – it’s man powered), and is looking a bit too relaxed about these rapids ! “Is this a rapid?” I ask (see pic here). “No…it’s a Riffle” he answers. It’s nothing! Hahahaha. I think things are a bit out of perspective for me. Lots to learn here.
Doing the Inner Work – Releasing Fear – For the next five days I am in a black hole of fear, and my Inner Seeing Vision Sees/Feels the Fear as a black heavy space. Each time the fear rises I purposely move emotionally to connect fully with the fear. The first thing I learn is to merge my energy with the flowing energy of the river and rapids. I feel like we are one, and I feel the calmness and gentleness of the smooth flowing water and then I feel each and every wave as it rises, feeling the way chaotic energy works and its possibility of birthing something new from the dismantling of the order of calm.
I work hard to rise above the fear, to a place I can be In It objectively and start to understand where the fear comes from. Five days of living in the fear, embracing the darkness, questioning, questioning, questioning. I immerse myself in the fear, on a quest to understand it – where did it come from? where in my body do I feel it? asking what do I need to do to move through it? sending Love Love Love all the time to the blackness (this really helps to be objective in this), all the while riding all these rapids, with a painful infected cut on my toe (putting alcohol swabs on oh boy in orbit pain!).
Healing the Inner Child/Truama Aspect Within – On the 4th day there is a breakthrough. In my inner vision I had only been Seeing the fear as a black tarpit. Suddenly the black drops so there is a horizon and a black hand appears coming out of the black fear. From the elbow up to the hand I can see that aspect of myself that is consumed in this black tarpit.
On my inner I reach out and grab the hand and haul her up and out of the black. She stands before me a wreck. I speak to her, this inner aspect of myself. I send her so much Love and Acceptance, and wrap her in a Pink Ray bubble of Love. My Heart opens in compassion for her suffering and I welcome her home. After working like this for the rest of day 4 and into day five; comforting her, hugging her, listening to her as her cries – moving from hysteria, to pain, to weeping, to sniffles and the acceptance and forgiveness that can then move in. I watch her objectively, always encouraging, always giving her love and affection, until she is in my arms and asleep and calm. On day 5 in my inner vision she finally was standing up on the prow of the raft, Titanic-style, arms thrown back in exultation of her freedom. Finally I had finished working through that which had presented itself to me (numerous times) to the point of resolution.
Integration – Day 6 was the test of ‘has the healing integrated?’ It’s all now about observing how I am interacting with my external world. How will I respond to the rapids. The first five days I spent every single rapid screaming.
Even the littles ones.
How ridiculous. Arrrrrrr !
The Roaring 20s Rapids! Day 6 and 7 for our group was the Roaring 20s. Rapid after rapid after rapid aaaallllll day long!
Guess what! I can’t say I loved it, BUT, I can say I was back in my Inner Peace.
Finding Your Comfort Zone Amongst Big Discomfort – I had found my comfort zone spot in the raft – up the back, hiding behind the bags, peaking over to see when we are done. I was still up there, but I rode the waves in such calm and I connected even more deeply with the energy of the River. I was the River. I felt and moved at the pace of the river, feeling Her flowing. I felt the calm; and I felt every wave in the rapids as each wave rushed at the raft. I perceived how it reflects our lives – the calm periods and what we perceive as the chaotic periods. I saw the rapids could be seen as chaos, but when you feel the energy of each wave as it moves you understand it completely differently. Yes, you need to be much more aware, as so much is moving quickly, but you can be in the flow of the chaos and ride those waves, maintaining a high presence of self observance while in the experience. After all, that is what the soul wants – to fully feel the experience and all the emotions that will arise.
Incredible Beauty – the constant cry of “BEAUTY ALERT”!!
In the midst of this amazing landscape our group spends incredible moments in extreme beauty, the like you don’t see anywhere else.
The energy was high in many places, with orbs confirming the presence of high energy Beings travelling with us.
Walking my Path – As we wound our way down the snaking river, 12 meditations I did in the places we camped at. 12 times did I enter these places in reverence to the many huge Guardian Spirits of the Land that have taken care of the vibration of the Land. 12 times did I sit in my specific meditation connecting deeply with the energy of the land, sending down my cord of energy, opening a portal in prayer infused with Spirit to release those multi-dimensional Beings that have been bound, bringing through the specific Keys and Codes to unlock their energetic prison. 12 times did I welcome those that chose to join us of the Light in our Quest to raise the vibration of Gaia to the vibration of Love, Joy and Peace. And in these times I deeply connected to my own Beingness and honoured my own journey and challenges in this place, feeling we are all travelling down a birthing canal into a new way.
Fire Initiation – It is during a moment of morning meditation and I am fully open and receiving the high vibration energy of the Christ Consciousness that I suddenly feel excruciating pain in my foot – I have been bitten by a fire ant. I think – ‘what is going on here!!??’ Now every time I meditate a horde of fire ants comes my way, and I build sand walls to keep them away from me! I realise about the fire initiation, and so choose to fully feel the feeling of fire in my foot – ’cause it seriously feels like it’s on fire! I now have one foot with an infected cut I try to keep dry and the other foot burning and need to keep in the 10c coldness of the river! Polarity!
Sacred Journey: New Moon to Full Moon – We started our journey on the New Moon, a great time to set Intentions so combining your intention with the support of the powerful vibration of the New Moon. From our cots lined up under the stars, we were treated to a night time show of all the Milkyway stars, shooting stars and watching the Heavens moving as the hours passed.
We finished our journey on the Full Moon, and while the stars were not so visible, we were graced with the moon’s energy flooding us all night long illuminating the great cliffs. I had the incredible experience of feeling the moon’s energy flooding my crown chakra and I Opened to Receive this energy, and felt it move down through my whole body. I welcomed in the powerful Sophia energy of the Divine Feminine, and was sorry when I fell asleep and missed feeling it all night long!
Diamond Peak: Journeys End – So today we come to the end of our journey. So much has happened it all cannot be recounted here.
As I see this powerful pyramid mountain structure and great receiver of cosmic energy come closer towards me, with these amazing cloud formations, and on the relative calm of this great river – I smile at the name ‘Diamond Peak’. So much Diamond Light energy is flooding into the planet right now I feel this is a little bit of Divine Humour!
So much Inner Clearing, Heart Opening and amazement at Courage (on the inner and external worlds), the Transformation that has occurred has been huge – opening further to my Diamond Heart within. This beautiful environment and powerful river has carried me relentlessly forward like a mighty snake weaving its way down this landscape allowing me the space to shed my layers and grow and expand into further newness.
This has been how it came to me to experience the Grand Canyon. For anyone considering going, I personally cannot recommend it highly enough as a place to experience Mother Nature in All her glory and aspects and find out for yourself how She will affect you and the fun you will have, exploring Earth’s Playground.
Date visited: August 2015
You can see my additional work with the BodhiBed sound & music vibration therapy by visiting my website Julia Smith at www.innertranquillity.com.au
© Copyright 2015 Julia Smith